Welcome to Agony Aunt
Have a question that might be a little tricky for friends & family to answer? Never fear for herein lies the answers you desire!
Have a question that might be a little tricky for friends & family to answer? Never fear for herein lies the answers you desire!
Dear Agony Aunt,
My boyfriend constantly wants sex. I think he'd have it every day if I would let him. It doesn’t seem as 'special' if we do it too often.I mean, its great when we have it, I think I’m just worried if we have too much, I’ll get sick of it!!! And sometimes I’m just not in the mood.Any suggestions to get me in the mood more?
Worried
Dear Worried,
See below…
AA.
My boyfriend constantly wants sex. I think he'd have it every day if I would let him. It doesn’t seem as 'special' if we do it too often.I mean, its great when we have it, I think I’m just worried if we have too much, I’ll get sick of it!!! And sometimes I’m just not in the mood.Any suggestions to get me in the mood more?
Worried
Dear Worried,
See below…
AA.
Dear Agony Aunt,
My girlfriend just can't get enough. Seriously, she's always on my back about sex, and trying to get me 'excited' at awkward times. Last weekend, the only reason she stopped trying was because she hurt! Is this normal??
Over-worked
Dear Over-worked,
Swap partners with the guy above.
AA.
My girlfriend just can't get enough. Seriously, she's always on my back about sex, and trying to get me 'excited' at awkward times. Last weekend, the only reason she stopped trying was because she hurt! Is this normal??
Over-worked
Dear Over-worked,
Swap partners with the guy above.
AA.
Dear Agony Aunt,
My boyfriend likes to lick me in obscure places, such as my elbows and underarms. I find this freaky. Why why why?
Grossed out!
Dear Grossed Out,
Each to their own, and unfortunately if would seem that certain crevices just ain’t doin’ it for you. Again communication is the key, but if you can’t do this I suggest rubbing something unpleasant tasting into these areas- such as Deep Heat gel, or Tabasco sauce. This should solve the problem.
AA.
My boyfriend likes to lick me in obscure places, such as my elbows and underarms. I find this freaky. Why why why?
Grossed out!
Dear Grossed Out,
Each to their own, and unfortunately if would seem that certain crevices just ain’t doin’ it for you. Again communication is the key, but if you can’t do this I suggest rubbing something unpleasant tasting into these areas- such as Deep Heat gel, or Tabasco sauce. This should solve the problem.
AA.
Dear Agony Aunt,
I’m getting used to my masturbating technique and its not having the same effect on me as it used to. Do you have any suggestions for new styles or techniques that I could try, to give my self that same feeling of ecstasy that I used to get?
Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
I think you need to try spicing things up a little, and rekindle what you once had. Take your hand out to dinner, light some candles in the bedroom or perhaps give your hand a massage first with some sensual oils. You could even try talking dirty to your hand, or introducing some light bondage- fingerless gloves work beautifully. Failing this, just buy a saucy women’s magazine- they’re always full of tips about how to give the ultimate hand job.
AA.
I’m getting used to my masturbating technique and its not having the same effect on me as it used to. Do you have any suggestions for new styles or techniques that I could try, to give my self that same feeling of ecstasy that I used to get?
Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
I think you need to try spicing things up a little, and rekindle what you once had. Take your hand out to dinner, light some candles in the bedroom or perhaps give your hand a massage first with some sensual oils. You could even try talking dirty to your hand, or introducing some light bondage- fingerless gloves work beautifully. Failing this, just buy a saucy women’s magazine- they’re always full of tips about how to give the ultimate hand job.
AA.
Dear Agony Aunt,
I'm too embarrassed to buy condoms...what should I do?
Tommay
Dear Tommay,
If I was you I would not have the slightest embarrassment about going and buying condoms. Just think- at least whoever serves you will think you’re getting some. In fact, I would go in when the place is at it’s most crowded and ask for them in your loudest possible voice. It’ll make you feel like a total stud.However, if you really don’t want to show your face, you could always buy them online. Just make sure your mum doesn’t open your mail.
AA.
I'm too embarrassed to buy condoms...what should I do?
Tommay
Dear Tommay,
If I was you I would not have the slightest embarrassment about going and buying condoms. Just think- at least whoever serves you will think you’re getting some. In fact, I would go in when the place is at it’s most crowded and ask for them in your loudest possible voice. It’ll make you feel like a total stud.However, if you really don’t want to show your face, you could always buy them online. Just make sure your mum doesn’t open your mail.
AA.
Dear Agont Aunt,
I have a pair of superman undies and am convinced that they give me special powers of seduction over women... is this possible
wolfie
Dear Wolfie,
Is this possible you ask? Of course it is! You ever hear of Superman being single? No way! He’s got so much game he has his own referee! Here’s a tip, in order to increase your powers i suggest wearing them on the outside!
AA.
I have a pair of superman undies and am convinced that they give me special powers of seduction over women... is this possible
wolfie
Dear Wolfie,
Is this possible you ask? Of course it is! You ever hear of Superman being single? No way! He’s got so much game he has his own referee! Here’s a tip, in order to increase your powers i suggest wearing them on the outside!
AA.
Dear Agont Aunt,
y r chiks lazy when sexing?
------
Dear Noname,
Fear of spontanious combustion. What else could it be?
AA.
y r chiks lazy when sexing?
------
Dear Noname,
Fear of spontanious combustion. What else could it be?
AA.
Dear Agont Aunt,
I just can't seem to pick up women. Please help!
JC
Dear JC
Man oh man this one is tooooooo easy. Two words: Superman Undies.
AA.
I just can't seem to pick up women. Please help!
JC
Dear JC
Man oh man this one is tooooooo easy. Two words: Superman Undies.
AA.
Dear Agont Aunt,
Boobs.
hp
Dear hp
Exactly!
AA.
Boobs.
hp
Dear hp
Exactly!
AA.
Dear Agont Aunt,
My boyfriend is keen to film us having sex. I am a little bit worried about this. What do you suggest I should do?
Starlet
Dear Starlet
Well, it worked for Paris Hilton didn't it? But I understand your concern. If it all ends nastily you don't want him sending a copy to your parents. I would suggest agreeing only if he gives you full screening and distribution rights- ie- he hands over the original tape which then stays safely in your possession. Until you break up of course, at which point you release it on the internet.
AA.
My boyfriend is keen to film us having sex. I am a little bit worried about this. What do you suggest I should do?
Starlet
Dear Starlet
Well, it worked for Paris Hilton didn't it? But I understand your concern. If it all ends nastily you don't want him sending a copy to your parents. I would suggest agreeing only if he gives you full screening and distribution rights- ie- he hands over the original tape which then stays safely in your possession. Until you break up of course, at which point you release it on the internet.
AA.
Dear Agony Aunt,
I recently came home from the gym to find my dad parading around in my mum’s clothes. I was seriously shocked and just can’t look at him in the same way now. What should I do?
Horrified.
Dear Horrified,
There is really only one thing to do in such a distressing situation: go into denial. Forget that you ever saw Dad sashaying about in that little lavender number, forget the look of delight as he gazed at his rouged cheekbones in the full-length mirror, and try to forget the horror of his hairy ankles squeezed into those 6 inch Stilettos. Forget it all- deny, deny, deny. The only other alternative is years of therapy, which can be very expensive.
AA.
I recently came home from the gym to find my dad parading around in my mum’s clothes. I was seriously shocked and just can’t look at him in the same way now. What should I do?
Horrified.
Dear Horrified,
There is really only one thing to do in such a distressing situation: go into denial. Forget that you ever saw Dad sashaying about in that little lavender number, forget the look of delight as he gazed at his rouged cheekbones in the full-length mirror, and try to forget the horror of his hairy ankles squeezed into those 6 inch Stilettos. Forget it all- deny, deny, deny. The only other alternative is years of therapy, which can be very expensive.
AA.
Dear Agony Aunt,
This is really embarrassing, but I think I’m a premature ejaculator. I only last about 20 seconds, and that’s on a good day. What can I do?
Quick-Draw.
Dear Quick-Draw,
Don’t worry. This is a problem that many of my ex-boyfriends share with you… just kidding. What you need to do is think of yourself as a sexual athlete- indeed, a marathon runner. Do you think Robert De Castela just nipped out for a little run one day and managed to go for 40 miles? No. He had to get into training. And so do you. Practise on increasing your stamina by yourself first, and pretty soon, you’ll be a finely honed, marathon standard athlete. Just don’t get into wearing those 70’s sweatbands. They’re weird.
AA.
This is really embarrassing, but I think I’m a premature ejaculator. I only last about 20 seconds, and that’s on a good day. What can I do?
Quick-Draw.
Dear Quick-Draw,
Don’t worry. This is a problem that many of my ex-boyfriends share with you… just kidding. What you need to do is think of yourself as a sexual athlete- indeed, a marathon runner. Do you think Robert De Castela just nipped out for a little run one day and managed to go for 40 miles? No. He had to get into training. And so do you. Practise on increasing your stamina by yourself first, and pretty soon, you’ll be a finely honed, marathon standard athlete. Just don’t get into wearing those 70’s sweatbands. They’re weird.
AA.
Dear Agony Aunt,
I don’t know what to do, but I am really attracted to my new stepmum. She is seriously hot, and we just seem to get on so well. What do I do?
Confused.
Dear Confused,
With just about everyone jumping on the cosmetic surgery bandwagon nowadays, this is an increasingly common problem. But as I always say, things could be worse - at least it’s not your real Mum you find sexy.
My suggestion would be to try and put your feelings behind you. Perhaps get out and meet someone else your own age. Failing this, ask your step-mum if she has any hot friends.
AA
I don’t know what to do, but I am really attracted to my new stepmum. She is seriously hot, and we just seem to get on so well. What do I do?
Confused.
Dear Confused,
With just about everyone jumping on the cosmetic surgery bandwagon nowadays, this is an increasingly common problem. But as I always say, things could be worse - at least it’s not your real Mum you find sexy.
My suggestion would be to try and put your feelings behind you. Perhaps get out and meet someone else your own age. Failing this, ask your step-mum if she has any hot friends.
AA
Dear Agony Aunt,
I seem to find myself masturbating quite a lot. Sometimes like, 5 times a day. Is this normal?
Red Handed.
Dear Red Handed,
What is normal anyway? As long as it’s not interfering with school or work, I see no problem with nipping off for a quick tickle of the pickle, however many times a day you see fit. And if anyone tells you that excessive masturbation causes blindness, tell them that is true, but only if you have a bad aim.
AA.
I seem to find myself masturbating quite a lot. Sometimes like, 5 times a day. Is this normal?
Red Handed.
Dear Red Handed,
What is normal anyway? As long as it’s not interfering with school or work, I see no problem with nipping off for a quick tickle of the pickle, however many times a day you see fit. And if anyone tells you that excessive masturbation causes blindness, tell them that is true, but only if you have a bad aim.
AA.
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